We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
