okay pat passed out under dana's car
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
