people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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