Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
