Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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