I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
