Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
