are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
