We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
