i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize