You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
