Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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