i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
