I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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