I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
