You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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