i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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