I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
