A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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