So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize