dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
