So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
