Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
