I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Even my vagina gasped.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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