could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize