i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
