you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
