ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
