This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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