well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
