nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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