i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
