so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
