Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I understand Curling. That high.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I need a beard to bite.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
