I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
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bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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