Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
