don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
