He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
