you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
