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• (415): View more from California

  Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?

  (917): View more from New York City

  what kind of party is this?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  the best kind ever

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.

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• (718): View more from New York

  He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night

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• (631): View more from New York

  We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Yeah, I liked it.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.

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• (+56): View more from

  I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever

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