our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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