my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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