no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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