I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I think I sprained my soul last night
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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