Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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