ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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