Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
