watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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