My first STD was from a foam party
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
