just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
