Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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