So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
