talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's shark week go big or go home
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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