so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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