but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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