When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
