I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
