I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
