we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
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He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
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Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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