): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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