I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
