i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
