based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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