My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
