True but thats because hes a fetus.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
