I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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